


Beyond The Vale

by AceLucky



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Afterlife, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Erwin comes to terms with death, Forbidden Love, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Guardians - Freeform, Heartbreak, Heaven, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Mike is a wonderful friend, Mike is pining for Erwin, Missing Loved Ones, Moving On, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:08:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24097852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceLucky/pseuds/AceLucky
Summary: When Erwin passes into the afterlife he is certain he knows where his soul deserves to rest, however, Mike finds him in the fog and helps to guide him home.
Relationships: Erwin Smith/Mike Zacharias, Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	Beyond The Vale

**Author's Note:**

> ♥ I wrote this piece several years ago for Erwin week, I found it the other day forgetting completely that i’d written it. I decided to do it up a little and make a few edits before posting it again. I've tagged Erwin/Levi as Erwin's love for Levi is mentioned and there's longing/missing the other one. Erwin/Mike are tagged as there is reference to their previous attachment to one another and Mike's existing feelings which never went away/temptation. This is another sad one. ♥

There were colours Erwin wasn’t sure he’d ever seen before as he bore witness to the transcendence of life to death and in living through this saw time and space beyond their wildest dreams. 

It felt like flying, not too dissimilar to using ODM Gear but without the restraints or the pressure that came with it. He moved weightless through oceans, clouds, stars and forests great that he imagined existed beyond the wall, all of it was uncharted territory. The overwhelming beauty he beheld in the wakening of such terror was enough to drive anyone mad with confusions or repulsion at being allowed such splendour, yet Erwin felt a calming rain wash over him. Though he knew in his heart that the peace he found wasn’t to last, that was not his fate, it could not be after all he had seen. Erwin Smith’s soul was damned, he was sure of it, for the choices he made in life, the blood on his hands and ever expanding mountain of bodies his eternity was forever tainted.

Though the Universe seemed such a great and inviting expanse his calling was below, he trusted his instinct to guide him home. He felt his body grow warmer and the world spun darker around him, in the distance flames grew brighter and he knew that was where he must go that the smell of brimstone and an infinity of loneliness was where his throne lay. 

His skin prickled and fear threatened to take a hold, I am alone, this is my fate, I did this to myself, I chose this. I chose this. Unlike the soldiers who died for me, who had no choice, I did, I acted and regret has no place here. Regret has no place here. Erwin thought if he repeated the statement he might start to believe it, that’s what he had to do, continue to repeat the sentiment until he started to believe it and that belief would become a comfort blanket to him. Beyond the vale there were no doubt demons, their very design to break his tortured soul. Erwin would not run like a coward, in life as in death he promised.

He reached what felt like borderlands, his feet touched the ground for the first time since his passing. The earth was cracked and there steam escaped, hot, burning, the air cloying and heavy. He could see his reflection all around him, endless mirrors that illuminated the fact he would be forever alone, a fate timeless. That was the real hell, not pain or heat, it was memory and never knowing the touch of another’s skin, no voices to comfort, no laughter or joy.

He walked slowly, his hand outstretched waiting for the embrace of darkness and for his fate to be sealed. From this mountain of bodies there cannot be any escape. 

Erwin heard a familiar sound, a soft sound like someone smelling the air, “Where are you going?” A voice called out to him, he froze. I know that voice, but it can’t be… He can’t be here.  
“Stay back, I’m going where I belong.” Erwin answered without turning to make eye contact with he other.

Mike walked up behind him, placed a hand on Erwin’s shoulder, “Erwin, you don’t belong there.”

Erwin’s breath hitched for a second, terrified to turn around, sure that the man stood behind him couldn’t be his old friend. Tears immediately begun to pool in his eyes, he was afraid to be alone. He was sure the man behind him would be a demon in the guise of Mike, taunting him.

As if reading his thoughts Mike sniffed at Erwin’s hair, “You smell awful,” he gave way to a slight grin, “Must have been your bloodiest battle yet.”

Erwin exhaled, a tear rolling down his cheek, he turned slowly, “Mike?”

Mike pulled him into a tight embrace, holding Erwin against him and in his arms Erwin found a home he didn’t believe he deserved. Mike’s hands rubbed his old friends back then squeezed him once more, his nose buried in the crook of Erwin’s neck, refusing to let go he whispered, “Let me take you home.”

Erwin pulled away, “This is my home now,” he stood firm, defiant, though the lonely smile he wore portrayed his deepest desire. 

Mike shook his head, “You’re delusional if you think this is where you belong my friend.”

Erwin gulped and faced his fate, “Of course I belong here, after what I did, all those…”

Mike cut him off and shook his head, “Forgive me Commander, you’re wrong.” He held his hand out to Erwin, “Please.”

Erwin was sure he’d never heard Mike talk so much when he was alive, he took that as a sign that maybe his old friend was right. Maybe it was his hubris and thoughts of grandeur that made him believe he deserved such a fate, there had been some honesty in his actions, they weren’t all selfish or ignoble. 

Though he hesitated for a moment, sure this was again a trick he took Mike’s hand regardless of trepidation.

Erwin felt weightless again and greater yet he felt the heavy weights from his shoulders lifted, the hell around him melted and he found himself stood in a green, open field full of wild flowers. He blinked a few times, the sun near blinding him, when his eyes adjusted he saw clouds in the sky and birds riding the breeze. He was trembling, finding himself in a world more beautiful than he’d ever imagined could have existed beyond the wall.

“I can’t believe I nearly lost you again to the darkness,” Mike sighed, still holding Erwin’s hand, his thumb rubbing one of Erwin’s knuckles. 

Erwin, still untrusting of his environment took baby steps, afraid the ground would fall from beneath his feet. It didn’t feel real, he had been prepared to die, he had accepted it, grateful of the final gift Levi was able to give him though he felt some selfishness when recalling his actions in death. The thought had him on the floor, awe-struck by the world he found himself in, his knees were weak. 

“This is beautiful,” he cried.

Mike knelt beside Erwin and placed an arm round him, “They will all come to know this place.”

Erwin looked up, “Even Levi?” He sounded pained as he spoke the name.

Mike sighed and gave a nonchalant smile, “Yes, even Levi,” he stood up and held out his hands for Erwin, “I missed you so much,” he confessed, helping to pull Erwin to his feet.

“I missed you too, especially your nose.”

Mike laughed, though his gaze fell to the floor unable for a second to make eye contact afraid of the old feelings that may be ignited. When he did look up and saw Erwin staring back at him, a beat passed where they gazed into one another’s eyes, memories from long ago stirred and a lifetime of complications and destruction that had come after. Mike took a small step closer to Erwin and cupped his cheek, he brushed a remaining tear with his thumb. Erwin took Mike’s other hand in his own and rubbed his knuckles. Mike gulped, his hand was shaking as he leant in closer to Erwin, his lips so close to the other mans when Erwin turned his head to the side.

“I loved him,” Erwin spoke sadly as he looked beyond Mike to where the field stopped. He let go of Mike’s hand and he took a few steps, hands clenched, “I love him.”

Mike followed him to the edge of the cliff, “I know you do.”

When Erwin looked down he couldn’t believe what he was seeing, the world he had been a part of was there right before him yet he had no way of touching it.

He looked down on Hanji and Levi sat on a rooftop, Levi’s head in Hanji’s lap, his hand clutched at his breast. Tears fell once again, he felt selfish for leaving them behind.

“Don’t worry, they’ll be okay.”

“How do you know?” Erwin replied as he knelt on the floor.

Mike shrugged, “Trust me okay?”

Erwin nodded, “Promise me?” He looked back up at Mike, eyes wide.

“I promise Erwin, they’ll all be okay, you did good by them and you will see them again.”

“Where is this anyway?” He was still in a daze but the scent of honeysuckle on the breeze made him feel at home.

“Everywhere, anywhere… It’s knowledge,” Mike paused, “Whatever you want it to be really.”

“Is it real?” Erwin asked afraid of the answer.

Mike bent down and kissed his cheek, guilt welled up inside of Erwin, “Of course.”

Erwin continued to watch one of his closest friends and his lover back on earth, emotion washing over him as he noticed the care with which Hanji was brushing Levi’s hair and the way Levi was holding the bolo tie he’d once worn.

Mike ran his hand through Erwin’s hair, “Erwin….trust me, you can get lost forever watching them,” he spoke kindly and Erwin understood. Whilst the afterlife allowed him to glimpse into the world he had once been a part of, he could not dwell on it for long.

But Erwin couldn’t help but ask, “How do you know…”

“Because I lost so much time just watching you,” he answered honestly, his hand still in Erwin’s hair. 

Erwin gulped, the tiniest, “Ohhh” escaping his lips, turning back around he noticed a new and strange addition to the field, there was a piano shroud in white light.

“Before you ask, things don’t always make sense here,” Mike paused, “And yet I distinctly remember you were good at playing when we were younger.”

Erwin smiled at the memory and walked across to it, Mike’s hand dropping to his side as the contact was broken. It was only then he noticed that Moblit was sat on the floor next to the piano looking lost, staring at the earth, his knees were up to his chest and he was holding himself in a tight squeeze displaying a vacant expression.

“Hey,” Erwin said softly as he placed a hand on Moblit’s shoulder, “They’re okay,” he grazed Moblit’s cheek with his fingers and then helped the smaller man to his feet.

Erwin sat on one of the stools and patted the one next to him, motioning for Moblit to sit.

Mike bent down and picked up a dandelion from the grass, he held it out to Erwin, “Remember these?”

“Always,” Erwin smiled as he counted down, blowing on the flower, making a wish as he did. When he’d finished making wishes, he turned his attention back to the ivory keys in front of him and started to play one of the songs he’d enjoyed playing often back when they were all cadets. Green and full of hope, Moblit and Mike joined in, singing quietly to accompany Erwin’s tune. 

Mike knew Erwin was no longer his, though in time they may be able to rekindle some of what was lost, but not to worry he finally had his dearest friend home, he had finally learnt the truth of it all and knew, with certainty that it would be okay in the end.

Back on earth Levi looked up at the nights sky, Hanji’s hand buried in his hair, the warmth of their body a great comfort. He seemed to freeze for a moment as if seeing a ghost.

“Levi?” Hanji asked worried.

Levi looked up at them, “Do you hear that?”

Hanji smiled, they had no idea what Levi was talking about. Seeds from a dandelion carried on the breeze were carried past them, the world was silent, “Yes.” They replied.


End file.
